Are you a Settler or a Reacher?

There’s nothing like a 16-hour car ride with friends (two of whom are therapists) to help you explore the mysteries of the Universe. Sure, we laugh, sing along to our favorite songs and eat our weight in convenience store snacks. But, we also go deep.

We gladly jump down every rabbit hole that comes up in conversation because, even after all of the hours we’ve logged on the road together, we’re still curious to know more about each other.

The car ride is definitely one of my favorite parts of my annual trek to Big Bend with my friends.

One of my traveling buddies has a knack for coming up with clever question-asking games like “what would you do with a million dollars?”Or,”if you had to choose between losing your sight or losing your hearing, which would you choose?” (I’m only sharing the the G-rated questions, of course).

One question she asked on our latest trip really stood out to me: “Are you a Reacher or a Settler?”

Oh boy. This one struck a chord.

I feel pretty darn confident that I am living in Reacher mode more than ever these days, but that hasn’t always been the case. I spent the majority of my young adult life as a Settler. And what I mean by “settling” is that I was not following my intuition. I wasn’t speaking my truth. I wasn’t listening to the whispers of my heart.

Here’s what settling looked like for me:

  • Unhealthy romantic relationships that went on for far too long
  • A job that sucked the spirit out of my bones
  • Saying “yes” when I really meant “no”
  • Friendships that weren’t healthy and empowering
  • Anxiety

If you are settling for less than your intuition and heart are telling you that you need, you’re going to feel icky. It’s just a fact.

You’re going to wonder when, or if, it’s ever going to get better. Maybe you’ll become a great bargainer- trying to convince yourself that you can just grin and bear it. But, in my experience, there is no escaping the ickiness that accompanies living a life that is not aligned with your truth.

So, I’m going to cut to the point and insert a shameless plug:Life Coaching pushes you to be a Reacher. It does that by helping you get out from under all of the self-doubt and limiting beliefs you have about yourself and your life.

My coach kicks my you-know-what (in the best of ways) and reminds me that I am not a Settler. She reminds me that I am a Reacher with a capital “R” and that I already have everything I need to create a life that I freakin’ love. I have her in my life because, even though I feel more empowered than ever, I still need that loving kick in the pants and unconditional support.

I believe in coaching. It has worked for me and I’ve seen it work for my clients. I’ve seen them decide to stop settling and start reaching. I’ve witnessed them speaking their truth and embracing their unique gifts. It’s pretty darn awesome and I want to help you be a Reacher, too.

I currently have space for 4 new clients (aka Reachers) in my schedule. If you are interested, email me ASAP at and we can schedule a free 20-minute consultation to discuss how coaching might benefit you.

P.S. Even if you don’t think I am the right coach for you, I do hope that you’ll consider hiring a coach if you are feeling like a Settler and want to be a Reacher. You deserve it.

Amanda is a trained Life Coach and holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling. As a recovering risk-avoiding scaredy-cat, she is passionate about empowering her clients to live and love boldly. Amanda shares her inspiration through personal coaching, corporate training, workshops and international retreats. She particularly loves working in the areas of dating/relationships, career growth, and overall self-confidence.  Learn more about Amanda at

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